The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love brings enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to very difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , leading to effective feelings of destination, excitement, well-being, nearness, and love .

However when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in city areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it view it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is very see here important for a Read Full Article sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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