The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries immense significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to incredibly difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, well-being, and nearness .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that a number of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urban locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I look at here do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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